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The Water Pistol
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.
I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
Mom smiled and then replied.
It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were for.
"People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by."
"Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed, "The one Sunday I don't go, He shows up!"
Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a family.
One little boy in the picture had a different color hair than the other family members.
One child suggested that he was adopted and a little girl named Jocelynn Jay said,
"I know all about adoptions because I was adopted."
"What does it mean to be adopted?" asked another child.
"It means," said Jocelynn, "that you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy."
A father was at the beach with his children when the four- year-old son ran
up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"
A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied,"Because people are sleeping."
As I was driving home from work one day, I stopped to watch a local little League baseball game that was being played in a park near my home.
As I sat down behind the bench on the first-baseline, I asked one of the boys what the score was.
"We're behind 14 to nothing," he answered with a smile.
"Really," I said. "I have to say you don't look very discouraged."
"Discouraged," the boy asked with a puzzled look on his face, "why should we be discouraged?
We haven't been up to bat yet."
Little Johnny asked his grandma how old she was. Grandma answered, "39 and holding." Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "And how old would you be if you let go?"
Roles And How We Play Them
Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in my life, I stop and think about little Jamie Scott.
Jamie was trying out for a part in a school play.
His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen.
On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect him after school.
Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and excitement.
"Guess what Mom," he shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to me:
"I've been chosen to clap and cheer."
A Lesson In Heart
A lesson in "heart" is my little, 10-year-old daughter, Sarah, who was born with a muscle missing in her foot and wears a brace all the time.
She came home one beautiful spring day to tell me she had competed in "field day"- that's where they have lots of races and other competitive events.
Because of her leg support, my mind raced as I tried to think of encouragement for my Sarah, things I could say to her about not letting this get her down-but before I could say anything, she said, "Daddy, I won two of the races!"
I couldn't believe it!
And then Sarah said, "I had an advantage."
I knew it. I thought she must have been given a head start...some kind of physical advantage.
But again, before I could say anything, she said, "Daddy, I didn't get a head start...my advantage was I had to try harder!"
A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed the offering plates. When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear,
"Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under five."
Sunday School Lesson
Magnus has been to Sunday School for the first time.
"The Teacher told us about heaven and said that we may come there if we are nice, obey God, father, mother and ask forgiveness when we have been nasty."
"Yes, that's right" mother answered.
"How tricky they must be up there.--"
The flight to Egypt
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.
"I see ... and that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the Pilot."
The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."
A Bible Character
Sunday School children had to choose a Bible character they would most like to be and why. A little girl wanted to be Mary because she was the mother of Jesus; one young boy wanted to be Joseph, because he was Jesus' father, another David because he was strong and brave and slew Goliath and yet another Jonah because he went for a ride in a whale!!
One quiet, young man chose to be "Lo". When told there wasn't a character called Lo in the Bible, he replied "Oh yes, there is - Jesus said, 'and Lo, I will be with you always'!"
Jonah and the Whale
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they were a very large mammal their throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
The teacher reitterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
A mother was watching her four-year-old child playing in the bathtub.
He was happily walking back and forth across the tub, trying different ways of walking, and making big splashes.
Suddenly, he stopped, stepped out of the tub, and began to scoop water out of the tub with a pail.
Why are you pouring the water out, Jimmy? the mother asked.
'Cause my teacher said Jesus walked on water, and this water won't work. The boy replied.
The Lord's Prayer
A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer.
For several evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after the mother.
Then one night the child was ready to solo.
The mother listened with pride to the carefully enunciated words, right up to the end.
"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail"...
The Poor Pastor
After the church service a little boy told the pastor,
"When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money."
"Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?"
"Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son.
He read,"The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt."
His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"
The Broken Seal
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries.
The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.
"What are you doing?" his mother asked.
"The box says not to eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained.
"I'm looking for the seal."
The Most Caring Child
Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he had been asked to judge.
The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four-year-old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard,
climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
"Nothing, I just helped him cry."
You ought not miss this wonderful letter from a 3rd grader
Children talk to God